This came out a lot bitchier then I intended... D: Oh well. My boyfriend broke up with me on Sunday, after a nine-month relationship.
This wouldn't bother me so much, but, well... Yeah. I have the whole thing here. I swear I'm not as bitchy as this rant makes me out to be!!
Hello, ex-boyfriend! How are things?
Well, as for me, I’ve been alright, mulling over things… You know. Just thinking and the like. And you know what? It’s the darndest thing, but I think I might be glad you broke up with me. It’s funny, I never once wondered about our relationship. We had a Media Studies class together, you sat behind me. You were the first boy to start smiling at me. Well, in awhile. I had a big crush on you, you were a cute and nerdy guy who was always really nice and polite. You held the door open for me, helped me out when I was having trouble. I really liked you.
Which is why I feel bad for writing this, really. You don’t belong here. I start to think about how happy we were, and what a sweetheart you had been while we were dating…
Then I remember that you decided to break off a nine-month relationship over fucking Steam (which, for those of you who don’t know, is pretty much MSN for Valve computer games) and I suddenly have a funny will to write! Isn’t that crazy?
And that breakup was something. You suddenly decided that, after nine months of being together, just three months shy of our year-long anniversary - You just now decide that we ‘have nothing in common’ and that we ‘can’t sustain a conversation?’ Well I would agree with the fact that we have very diverse interests (with me being an artsy gaming geek and you being a workaholic tech nerd) but we have all sorts of neat conversations because of our differing interests!
‘Yeah, but why can’t we have those conversations on IM?’
I have a question that answers your question.
You know when I said I never once wondered about our relationship? Well, looking back, I can suddenly see lots to worry about. You were the other guy in a relationship, and you were very sensitive about that. I understood that, and I didn’t mind. I had faith that you wouldn’t be disloyal, since the entire thing got you so upset.
But on your side of things, you got jealous rather easily, you didn’t want certain friends of yours talking to me because ‘they would hit on me.’ Really? You thought I would just slut around like that?
And then when you were breaking it off on Sunday, you had the balls to bring up your friend, who I talk to online rather frequently. Yeah, thanks for that. Then you tell me ’oh, we never see each other.’ You, the fucking grand poobah of ’I’m too busy I can’t go over to your house or do anything sorry’ is pulling out the excuse of ’we never see each other?’ I tried to fix that shit, you were constantly too busy with your fucking part-time job at Staples, faggot. Don’t blame me for that.
And what more, you decided to spit up some pseudo-intellectual dribble about how the human brain develops, and how at sixteen you can’t think rationally as well as, say, a 25-year-old, and that I should be optimistic.
Wow, thanks for that, Lieutenant Obvious. You’ve been promoted to Captain.
Will you be departing any more earth-shattering observations upon the masses? Inquiring minds need to know!
Are you telling me that, as a teenage girl, I can’t possibly know everything there is to know and I may make some unwise decisions because of being a teenager?! Goodness me, I would never have figured that out by myself by, say, looking it up on Wikipedia!
Or gee, I don’t know, living?
And you act like this is some fucking grand nugget of wisdom too. Listen, bub, I know I don’t know shit. I have learned that, as a seventeen-year-old girl, I don’t know a lot of things, and I will probably make some decisions that don’t make sense. Hell, even more then I’ve already made. You‘re not the only one who can learn from the mistakes you make in life.
Yeah, I sure am wondering about our relationship. Saying that we have no common interests isn’t something you pull after nine fucking months of a successful relationship, pal. That’s something you say to a girl after, oh, a week or so. A month at the maximum, but nine?
It certainly makes me wonder… Did you ever even like me? It seemed like it at first, but then again, I can be very naiive. You were very generous with telling me that you loved me and mentioning something you liked about me, and some of the gifts you bought for me were the sweetest things I could have ever received. I thought I was the luckiest girl on the planet, to have a boyfriend like you, and I tried to return all the favors as best as I could.
But something’s still bothering me about it. Boy howdy, you loved to touch, didn’t you?
We never went all the way, but you really did like touching.
Soon, you didn’t want to go out at all like we used to. You just wanted to go to your room, or my basement. When I asked about going out to dinner somewhere, you told me you didn’t have any money and that we could just hang out.
I accepted that - hey, shit happens. And at first, I felt the slight increase in intimacy helped our relationship, because I felt closer to you. Of course, when it became all that you ever wanted to do with me, it sort of cheapened the sentiment. I spoke up. You apologized, and said that it wouldn’t happen next time.
So I think ok, that’s reasonable. The next time I invite you over, what do you do?
You start fucking touching.
Now, I didn’t mind when it first started up again. Exams and the like sort of kept us from seeing each other, and I thought that a good release in sexual tension would help. Then it just started all over again, where you would never have the money to go out to dinner or even go window-shopping at the mall, and anything you wanted to do with me was related to sexuality. Good job, champ.
This makes me wonder why you kept me around for so long. Were you in it for the tits?
Did you dump me because you got bored? I wasn’t good enough anymore? Because I didn’t put out, what?
I would really love answers to these questions. Something that isn’t bullshitted would be nice. But I know I’m never going to get them, because I don’t have the guts or the heart to send this to you.
Somehow, if having few common interests seemed to work for as long as it did in our relationship, I don’t think it contributed to the break-up as much as you claim it did. We had a lot of interesting conversations because of it. I find that, as our relationship carried on, you became emotionally detached from it. It became a solely physical matter, or nothing at all, because you were too busy with whatever it was you were busy with.
Like I said, I’m glad for this. I’m glad we didn’t end up together for any longer. I feel much better, now that this is all out of my system, and I think I’m going to get over this very well.
By the way, me and that friend? We’ve been talking a lot. He’s a really cool guy. But guess what?
Still no dating between us.
Fancy that, I’m not the village bicycle.
That bitch you went out with that one time
Current Location: my computer chair
Current Mood: Better now
Current Music: nnnothing